I started to write in English probably just 3 years ago in 2017 when I tried to apply for student opportunities at the international level. I remember that it took me days and weeks to prepare all the required documents. One year later, I secured a job in a multi-cultural consulting company with daily communication in English. Then, I got used to writing business documents in English on a daily basis. Interestingly, my former supervisor has a very scientific and structured approach to solving business problems. It showed in the reporting style of the company that combines academic and business writing in a concise manner. There, I picked up a skill to translate complex scientific knowledge into understandable documents for other stakeholders in the projects.
In the company, I learned to write a formal business document in English, yet most of the time I adopted other people's writings, cite multiple references, and defined a connecting idea to make it my own. My writing was just sufficiently good for getting a passed mark from my supervisor. The problem arose when I was asked to write a document from scratch that no-one has written before. The topic has very limited references to look upon as well. I didn’t how to construct and define the idea, let alone write it. It was a totally different compared to my writing experience so far. It was uncomfortable and it took me a long time even just to start. I was forced to sit with myself in front of a blank paper and realized that anything I write was a reflection of my mind.
I discovered that writing is a process of defining your identity, and be comfortable enough to let your idea open to other people through words and sentences. The experience showed me that I still lacked the confidence of exposing myself in the process, afraid of possible judgement and criticism that I am not qualified enough for it. I can still feel the nervous tingle every time I had to write something new (even for this).
The fact that I separated my identity and held myself back from my writings all this time were struck me the most. I want to be an effective writer with useful and meaningful ideas to share. To do so, I have to understand myself, finding what I am interested in to write, be comfortable and confident in the process. Even though I still lacked a lot, I am looking forward to discovering more and grow from the experience! It marks the beginning of this writing journey and I hope it will be an enjoyable one.