I am curious about happiness so often.
What will happen when I am happy? How is the feeling of long-term happiness? What is the prescription of happiness? Will I be happy when I have a lot of friends, money, or achievements?
Being an adult now, I realized that there is no such thing as long-term happiness. Sure, when I get something nice in life, I get a spark of excitement, but that’s it.
Over time, I begin to see problems in those things I used as the benchmark for my happiness. Nothing is perfect and permanent in this life. The money disappears, you start to disagree even with your closest friend, and the achievement only leads to more responsibility and stress.
With those benchmarking, I get trapped in a spiraling thought of me being never enough. I am not happy and successful enough to enjoy my life. I have to work harder and harder. And it leads to a never-ending race, with me still being disappointed (and eventually tired) though I achieved many things. If this is what the journey to happiness looks like, I don’t want to do it.
When COVID-19 appears, the world seems to stop moving. So do I. I was forced to sit down with all these terrible thoughts. I have no option to run away to and have to sort it through.
Then I realized, there is no way to measure my happiness, let it be a goal for life. I will always have problems over time, no matter how old I get. I can’t expect to be happy today, and the feeling will last forever. It has to do with my mindset.
Instead of looking for happiness, I start to be grateful over what I have and cherish all the progress I made today. I might not be happy, but at least I know that I am doing my best every single day and appreciate myself for it.